

Author
Robin Sheffield
Editor, The Seagull Times
Robin Sheffield is the Editor of The Seagull Times, reporting on the stories that matter across Eastbourne and Sussex — and several that probably don't. Covering local life, council chaos and the occasional seaside controversy, Robin is committed to bringing readers the truth, provided the truth isn't quite as funny.
Latest stories
29 stories

Major Investigation Launched After Something Apparently Happened On A259 For Just Over An Hour
Local journalism reaches new heights after incident confirmed to have occurred, police confirmed to have existed and road eventually confirmed to be open again.

Town Centre Briefly Free of Roadworks — Council Immediately Declares State of Emergency
A brief period of calm in Eastbourne town centre has reportedly left council officials “deeply concerned”, after residents discovered there were temporarily no roadworks taking pla…

Council Asked Whether Bollards Will Actually Stop Cars Entering Terminus Road — “Only One Way to Find Out”
Residents disclose their concerns around the new bollards seen appearing in Eastbourne town centre.

Eastbourne Man Claims He Can Predict Exact Arrival Of Rain Using His Knees
Local resident says decades of advanced meteorological research have made weather apps completely unnecessary, although both knees currently disagree about Saturday.

Eastbourne Councillor Claims World Is Flat After ‘Never Once Seeing A Curve From Beachy Head’
Fictional councillor says years of looking out to sea have provided “all the evidence anyone should reasonably need.”

Eastbourne Man Says "Bit Windy Today" For 4,000th Consecutive Day
Family confirm he has made the observation regardless of actual weather conditions since approximately 2015.

Eastbourne Water Boss To Be Asked Difficult Question: ‘Have You Tried Keeping The Water In The Pipes?’
Emergency meeting expected to explore radical new strategy where water enters pipe at one end and remains inside until reaching customers.

Seafront Cafe Forced To Ask Customers To Stop Feeding Chips To Seagulls "For A Laugh"
Birds now refusing anything below restaurant quality.

Council Launches Consultation Asking Residents Why They Never Respond To Consultations
Officials hope 94-question online survey will finally reveal why public engagement remains mysteriously low.

Council Announces Crackdown On Potholes By Officially Redefining What Counts As A Hole
Officials celebrate dramatic reduction in road defects after changing definition instead of repairing anything.

Council Meeting Runs Dangerously Close To Reaching Decision Before Councillor Requests More Information
Disaster narrowly avoided after councillor successfully delays agreement until somebody can produce another report.