Eastbourne Man Claims He Can Predict Exact Arrival Of Rain Using His Knees

By Robin Sheffield, Editor

EASTBOURNE — An Eastbourne man has declared himself more accurate than modern weather forecasting after revealing he can predict incoming rain entirely through sensations in his knees.

Trevor Mills, 67, claims his right knee can detect rainfall approximately three hours before it reaches Eastbourne, while his left specialises in colder weather and "anything nasty coming in off the sea."

"I've been doing this for years," Trevor said. "Right one's definitely playing up today. It'll rain by teatime."

The forecast showed uninterrupted sunshine.

Trevor described this as "their opinion."

Highly Advanced System

Trevor's forecasting method involves standing near his kitchen window, bending each knee twice and quietly saying:

"Yep."

A mild ache indicates rain.

Stiffness suggests colder temperatures.

A clicking noise means absolutely nothing, although Trevor admits it remains "worth keeping an eye on."

His wife claims the system becomes noticeably less accurate after gardening.

Eastbourne Microclimate Detected

Trevor believes his knees are particularly effective because Eastbourne weather is "different."

"They'll tell you sunshine, but that's probably for somewhere else."

Asked where, Trevor gestured vaguely towards the Downs.

He has also criticised weather apps for constantly changing their forecasts.

"My knees don't change."

His wife pointed out this is precisely why he's waiting for a replacement.

Major Forecast Issued

Trevor has now issued his first official long-range forecast for Eastbourne.

He predicts sunshine, rain, moderate wind, occasional cloud and "one absolutely horrible day" sometime within the next three weeks.

Meteorologists concede at least some of this will almost certainly happen.

At 4.17pm, Trevor's right knee began aching.

At 4.52pm, rain started falling.

Trevor immediately demanded an apology from the Met Office.

His wife gave him two paracetamol.