
Author
Barry Beakman
Senior Local Correspondent, The Seagull Times
Barry Beakman is the Senior Local Correspondent for The Seagull Times, reporting on the everyday dramas, minor inconveniences and completely unnecessary controversies of life in Eastbourne. From seafront incidents to neighbourhood outrage, Barry is usually first on the scene — or at least nearby with a notebook.
Latest stories
15 stories

Eastbourne Man Buys Metal Detector And Immediately Declares Himself Owner Of Entire Beach
Local treasure hunter claims centuries-old maritime law gives him ownership of everything beneath the pebbles after finding 37p and a bottle cap.

Eastbourne Man Sits On Seafront Bench For Five Minutes And Somehow Learns Everything Happening In Town
Local resident now aware of three divorces, a parking dispute and why nobody speaks to Carol anymore.

Eastbourne Man Who Said "We Needed The Rain" Now Demands It Stops Immediately
Local resident withdraws support for precipitation after discovering he has plans later.

Eastbourne Residents Stunned After Train Actually Arrives At Station
Passengers describe unprecedented scenes as service appears on departure board and then physically turns up.

Eastbourne Returns To Normal After Spending Four Days As Centre Of Known Universe
Airbourne 2026 declared a triumph as residents wake to disturbing sound of absolutely nothing flying over their houses.

Eastbourne Woman Puts Washing Out After Seeing Blue Sky, Immediately Causes Torrential Rain
Residents demand she checks the forecast next time before making decisions affecting the entire town.

Eastbourne Man Accidentally Joins Tourist Coach And Doesn't Realise Until They Reach Beachy Head
Local resident says he "just followed everyone else" after becoming confused near the seafront.

Eastbourne Pier Breaks Free Overnight And Begins Drifting Towards Sovereign Harbour
Residents told not to panic as landmark is believed to be travelling at "walking pace at best".

RAF Typhoon Accidentally Activates Every Car Alarm In Eastbourne During Airbourne Display
Residents as far away as Hampden Park reportedly checking driveways despite not remembering where they parked.

Eastbourne Considering Moving Beach Six Feet Closer To Sea Following Complaints About Stones
Officials admit removing the pebbles entirely would "leave very little beach".

Eastbourne Residents Admit Seafront Is Actually Quite Nice After Years Of Taking It For Granted
Locals shocked to discover people travel hundreds of miles to look at something they've been driving past on the way to work.