Eastbourne Seagulls Begin Wearing Fake Deliveroo Jackets To Get Closer To People's Food

By Sally Squawks, Seagull Affairs Correspondent

EASTBOURNE — Seagulls across Eastbourne have reportedly begun wearing tiny fake food-delivery jackets in an increasingly sophisticated attempt to get closer to people's lunches without raising suspicion.

The operation was discovered after residents noticed several unusually small delivery riders gathering near the seafront.

Initially, nobody was concerned.

Then one of them flew away.

"I thought he was waiting for an order," said local resident Graham Collins.

"Then I realised he didn't have a bike."

"Or trousers."

New Tactic Alarmingly Effective

According to witnesses, the gulls have learned that humans are significantly less suspicious of anything wearing a brightly coloured delivery jacket.

Instead of swooping directly at food, birds simply approach confidently while pretending to check an imaginary phone.

Victims assume somebody nearby has ordered lunch.

Seconds later, their chips disappear.

"It's clever," admitted Graham.

"I saw the jacket and thought he was working."

The gull was working.

Just not for anybody Graham recognised.

Uniforms Surprisingly Convincing

The fake uniforms reportedly include miniature jackets, insulated delivery bags and laminated identification cards.

One bird's card identified him as:

KEVIN

DELIVERY PARTNER

RATING: 4.8

Kevin is already known to The Seagull Times following several previous food-related incidents.

His actual rating is believed to be considerably lower.

Restaurants Become Suspicious

Staff at local food outlets reportedly became concerned after gulls began appearing outside waiting for collections.

One bird walked directly towards the counter.

Staff asked for an order number.

The gull screamed.

Nobody knew what to do.

"It was very confident," said one witness.

"That's what threw us."

The bird eventually left carrying a packet of crisps.

There was no corresponding order.

Customers Receiving Strange Notifications

Some residents claim they have also received unusual delivery notifications.

One message reportedly read:

YOUR RIDER IS APPROACHING.

Seconds later:

YOUR RIDER HAS SPOTTED YOUR SANDWICH.

Then:

YOUR RIDER HAS YOUR SANDWICH.

Finally:

THANK YOU FOR USING GULLIVEROO.

The customer had never downloaded Gulliveroo.

Anonymous Seagull Issues Warning

The Seagull Times contacted Anonymous Seagull for information.

Our confidential correspondent responded almost immediately.

"They're evolving."

We asked who was behind the uniforms.

There was no reply.

Five minutes later another message arrived.

"Check the rooftops."

We did.

There were gulls.

This was not especially helpful.

Genuine Riders Facing Questions

The scheme has unfortunately caused problems for legitimate food-delivery riders across Eastbourne.

Some customers are reportedly demanding proof that their rider is human before opening the door.

Suggested checks include asking riders to:

• Confirm their order number.
• Demonstrate possession of a bicycle.
• Say something other than "AAAAAAARK."
• Refrain from attempting to eat the delivery.

Officials stress that most genuine riders should pass these tests easily.

Operation Expanding

Witnesses have since spotted gulls experimenting with other disguises.

One wore a high-visibility vest.

Another reportedly carried a clipboard.

Residents immediately assumed it worked for the council and left it alone.

This has reportedly given the gulls ideas.

Sally Squawks has been informed that a bird was seen near Eastbourne Pier wearing a lanyard and looking "extremely official."

Its intentions remain unknown.

Residents Urged To Stay Alert

People eating outdoors are being advised to remain vigilant around suspicious delivery personnel.

Particular caution should be exercised if the rider:

Has feathers.

Arrives from above.

Refuses to show identification.

Or begins staring intensely at your chips.

At the time of publication, Graham had ordered lunch for delivery.

A notification appeared on his phone.

KEVIN IS ON HIS WAY.

Graham looked through the window.

Kevin was sitting on the roof opposite.

Wearing a tiny jacket.

The order was cancelled immediately.